give me sprinkles or give me death.

This is a collection of notes to myself and (mostly) daily ruminations of my personal happenings to get me back into the habit of writing again.


No guarantees can be made for your interest in what lies beyond, in fact there's a very real danger of it actually sucking in interest from the surrounding area.

Meat and Potatoes
I passed a model train shop called Going Loco.
The level of temptation in me to stop the bus, run across the road, into the shop and ask if they have a branch in Acapulco then stand frozen in an exaggerated ‘Ta-da!’ pose with a fixed grin for a whole hour, other customers having to awkwardly squeeze past me in order to get to the counter to whom I would give no quarter, nor pay no heed to their protests lest it spoil the effect, as if I’m the first person that’s ever thought to do that or written an absurdly over-long run-on sentence describing: Over nine thousand.
streetview

I passed a model train shop called Going Loco.

The level of temptation in me to stop the bus, run across the road, into the shop and ask if they have a branch in Acapulco then stand frozen in an exaggerated ‘Ta-da!’ pose with a fixed grin for a whole hour, other customers having to awkwardly squeeze past me in order to get to the counter to whom I would give no quarter, nor pay no heed to their protests lest it spoil the effect, as if I’m the first person that’s ever thought to do that or written an absurdly over-long run-on sentence describing: Over nine thousand.

streetview

Without context, this is literally worthless. And that’s how I like it.

Utah Saints - Something Good

i was having a quiet pint with the wife, see? and this chap comes in like a lunatic…

it was the freshest moves that i’ve ever seen, like he was floating on air.

i don’t know what came over us, we just got up and danced with him!

i’ve never seen anything like it in my life.

God, the amount of Welsh in this video is seriously pleasing to me. That accent. Hng. As for that jump, twist and clap at one minute in, just glorioius.

…and then this happened. Five minutes ago I had no idea this even existed. And yet here we are.

Working in retail, you tend to come across a lot of lost property. I have, right in the middle of a supermarket aisle, the SOUP aisle, no less, found £80. Just laying there.

So tonight in the petrol station, some customer had dropped a tiny little bag of weed. Since the chances of anyone ever coming back in and asking, “Yeah, um… did any of you guys find a tiny little bag of weed around here by any chance?” are effectively nil, I immediately declared it mine. In the pocket it went. We are talking a tiny spot of weed, though strong smelling.

It’s been a while since I took some weed, but I just smoked a bit and then spent not much shy of 15 minutes giggling at this.

I’ll probably regret posting this when I wake up. But this tumbl has 3 followers so fuck it. Ha! You are STUPID, future me! In your stupid, sober FACE! Ha!

Let’s keep it real here, okay? Yes, the iPhone 6 is good. But it’s not the only thing available from your local deli, nor is it the best by a long chalk. Open your eyes and ear as dion-thesocialist breaks it breaks it breaks it down

I think that it’ll be better if you just assume that everything I say is staggeringly important you won’t go far wrong. [x]

Always liked that scene in - I think it was The Meaning of Life - “It’s a boy!” “Well, let’s not go imposing gender roles on it just yet”.

And AND they had the machine that goes BING!

(via heavenisamatriarchy)

I had actual drinks at an actual pub with actual friends after work last night, and this morning I get a text asking how my head is.

My head is fine, but but but why you ask? Did I do something really horribly stupid that my brain has written over with “FINE FINE, EVERYTHING WAS FINE, ALL OF THIS, NOTHING TO SEE MOVE ALONG PLEASE”?

Damn you brain, we’re supposed to work together, we talked about this!

Text back saying “You were funny, charming and lovely. You did good, kid”. Oh. Oh well that’s all right then.

Also, the “You did good, kid” makes my feel like a floozy with a heart of gold in an olde-timey, black-and-white, film noir-style film who may get the affectionate nickname Hot Lips. I. I like that.

Evening inventory:

2x pint of cider drink.

1x pint of lager drink.

1x double gin and tonic drink.

4x vodka flavoured vodka shots.

1.5x Dairylea Lunchables cheese and ham crackers.

All after a late night shift in the petrol station and still in my work uniform because I am classy. Still better than my old drinking regime which is still going very well, by the way.

When we find and unlock the final chevron, all will gaze upon us and weep, for their eyes shall have seen the glory.

When we find and unlock the final chevron, all will gaze upon us and weep, for their eyes shall have seen the glory.

Dere’s more to Ireland dan dis.

Blimey Nora, it’s been that long since I last had a drink, I’ve tidied away one and a half pints and I’m zazzed. Good art. Good art. *falls over a table*

At a pub to see a promising young local artist display their work, I am first impressed by this peripheral foppish window stenciling. Good use of light mmm yeah braf braf.

My Vittle Pony
Manic Vreet Preachers
Mother Vove Pone
Mold Virty Pastard
YOU THE REAL MVP sorry/not sorry

Levellers feat. Imelda May
Beautiful Day

Always loved this song, and now it has added Imelda May, making it more powerful than you will ever know.

Tonight at the petrol station a guy I served said I was gorgeous and that I had “made his night”. Yeah, no, I think he might have been on drugs or something.